You’re Not the Problem. Your To-Do List Is. (Steal My 3 Steps to Start Living Like You Actually Mean It)
Life feels like one never-ending game of whack-a-mole. Every time you finish one thing, ten more pop up screaming, “Handle me now!”
Who has time for intentional living when your calendar looks like it’s trying to set a world record for overbooking?
The reality is that you don’t need more time, you need better boundaries.
Intentional living isn’t about lighting candles and whispering affirmations into the void. It’s about deciding what deserves your energy and telling the rest, “Thanks, but no thanks.”
What the Heck Is Intentional Living Anyway?
Intentional living means getting off autopilot and honestly choosing things that actually matter to you most. It’s saying, “I’m not available for this nonsense,” whether it’s another pointless meeting or the fifth PTA bake sale this month.
Why it matters:
Burnout Prevention: Stop running on fumes and start fueling yourself with things that actually bring you joy.
Space for Joy: When you stop racing through life, you notice the little things (…like that rare moment when your coffee is still hot).
Clarity: Less noise means more focus on the stuff that gets you closer to your big goals (or maybe just time to actually think about what your big goals are in life.)
Signs Your To-Do List Is Running the Show
1. You’re Everyone’s Go-To Person
If you’ve ever been voluntold for something, you know the struggle. It feels good in the moment to be needed because, let’s be real, who doesn’t want to feel wanted? But when you’re saying yes to everyone else, you’re saying no to yourself.
2. You Can’t Remember the Last Time You Had Fun
And no, folding laundry while watching Netflix doesn’t count. A few years ago, someone asked me what brings me joy. I was so caught off guard, I mumbled something about organized closets. (Yikes.) If you don’t know the answer, it’s time to pause.
3. Your Goals Are Gathering Dust
You’re so busy with everyone else’s stuff that yours barely gets a second thought. Meanwhile, that big dream of yours is sitting in the corner like a plant you forgot to water.
So, if this sounds like you, then it’s time to hit pause and reset.
3 Steps to Start Living Like You Actually Mean It
1. Audit Your Day
Want to know where your time goes? Write it all down. Yes, even the 20 minutes you spent Googling, “How to make life less stressful.” Now ask yourself: Did that bring you closer to your goals, or could it go on the chopping block? Awareness is a magical thing.
✅ Quick Action:
Use the “3 D’s”: Delete, Delegate, or Do with purpose. Your time isn’t infinite—don’t treat it like it is.
2. Make a “Hell Yes” List
A mentor shared this with me and it always stuck. These are the non-negotiables—the things that light you up and make life worth living. If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a hard no.
✅ Quick Action:
Write down three things you want more of and three you’re ready to let go of. Hint: “Scrolling through Instagram until my thumb cramps” might make the cut.
3. Say No Without Explaining
No is a complete sentence. You don’t owe anyone a detailed PowerPoint on why you’re too busy to chair the committee for planning Brenda’s birthday party.
✅ Quick Action:
Practice this line: “Thanks for asking, but I can’t commit to that right now.” Then watch your stress level drop like it’s hot.
My Wake-Up Call: When My To-Do List Took Over My Life
A little over ten years ago, I had what I now recognize as a collision course of life events. At the time, I just thought it was another packed week. Looking back, it was the moment everything started to change.
✔️ I was a newlywed, barely a year into marriage.
✔️ We adopted our kids.
✔️ I lost two family members in a matter of days.
✔️ We bought and moved into a new house.
✔️ I got promoted again, now leading multiple teams and major initiatives.
This all happened in a single week. Some of it was in my control. Most of it wasn’t.
Instead of stopping to take it all in, I doubled down. My to-do list became my coping mechanism. I was checking off tasks at record speed.
Perfect wife. Perfect mom. Perfect leader. Perfect daughter. Perfect friend.
I made almost everything look effortless on the outside. On the inside, I was barely holding it together.
Some mornings, I was shedding silent tears in my car, trying not to ruin my makeup before walking into the office. Other times, I’d spend my entire 20-minute commute down I-94 racing through everything that needed to get done—mentally reorganizing my never-ending to-do list in between back-to-back work calls. Then I’d roll right into picking up the kids, already exhausted before even stepping through the door.
At some point, you have to stop treating your life like a checklist and actually start living it. That’s when I realized… I don’t need more hours in the day. I need clear priorities.
Intentional Living Isn’t About Doing More
That season of my life taught me that just because I could handle it all didn’t mean I should.
^ READ THAT AGAIN.
Intentional living is about choosing what actually matters and letting go of the noise (not adding more to your schedule). You don’t need a productivity hack. You need permission to stop overcommitting.
Break first. Bloom later. Priorities matter.
🌿 Kris
